I sat down to capture the processes of denial and self-remorse that follows a heartbreak instead I switched motivation and decided to write about the solution and not the problem. Having been through one in the past I found it the easiest thing to encapsulate because it appeared very easy to over come in my case. If you really will follow my advice you'll find it easy too.
(1). DISENGAGE - Most women find this very hard to do and they end up making themselves a slave-lover even after the guy has moved on, in some cases your Ex might just be the one patronizing with a surreal intent. CUT HIM/HER OFF. If you have his/her phone digit, delete it, take him/her out of your facebook, twitter etc. Do not run any form of communication with them. Takeoff anything that reminds you of them, don't be petty.
(2). BE BOLD - Self pity is the strongest emotion that tends to follow a heartbreak. Kill it! It won't bring him/her back, judge not yourself or your actions no matter how worse you may think you are there's someone out there way worse than and you with a lovely relationship.
(3). ENGAGE - Don't waste anytime in meeting new people. Your Ex is not dead so don't mourn him/her indoors for 40 days and night. Go out, mix up and engage in new adventures soon you'll forget everything.
(4). THE FLAW LIST - Make a list of about 15 things you hate or that's stupid about your Ex, it could be their traits, looks, attitude or lifestyle; Whenever they flash through your mind get out the list and look through their flaws you'll get an instant renewal of hope.
(5). TALK LESS - You'll realize every discussion you'll almost be engaging in may just be about your breakup, with your friends, family, neighbors etc, but it is essentially critical that you don't en-mesh your self in such a frivolous conversation it'll keep you locked to the past.
(6). THINK BIAS - As you pass through these days, place your heart on all the wrong things that could have happened if you forced your way to marry your Ex. In today's world, there are loads of people either still married or divorced who regret marrying who they married and hope they had the opportunity you enjoy.
(7). FANTASIZE - Create in your illusions the kind of partner you hope to have in future, do not create a grandeur posture, fantasize on that dream person even if you don't get it, your fantasy will give you hope and renew your drive and zest towards life.
(8). BE MAGICAL - Most people loose a partner and you could almost guess so by their appearance. Instantly, they stop dressing or looking good, they become shabby and un-kept, imagine if you run into your Ex in such an appearance it'll only vindicated their decision to leave you, secondly it makes you less attractive to a potential and better suitor.
(9). TAKE INVENTORY - Take a concise inventory of your personal self, see out the things you do wrong and the things you overtly do, make a balance out of it, then write out a new resolve on who you want to be in a new relationship taking out all your own flaws.
(10). THE GOD FACTOR - Talk to God about your life. Many times God allow us go through stuff so we can live a better life ahead if given same challenges in future. Job was tested, Abraham was, Daniel, David, Joseph, Moses, Jesus, Sarah, Ruth, Esther and you have all gone through tests, but the most important thing is if you'll learn the lesson and move on.
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Posted and Written By: Ben Iyoha (My-Lagos Blog)
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