(EPISODE 1 dead to sanity)It's a tragic truth that every good thing has got a semblance of lunacy, facebook not only has one but is embedded with characters that embodies it. Over the years; have come accross alot of people on this platform, atleast it has afforded me the rear opportunity to keep up with my secondary school mates, university mates, cousines, teachers/lecturers and even childhood friends.
Most africans and even Nigerians themselves believe that the average Nigerian is fraught with some level of insanity and here on facebook alot have been well displayed. Hmmmmnnn..... I don see tins oh!
One pastor Nnamdi is known for preaching on facebook chat, for him the ministry has got to conqer new teritories but at the expence of who? i believe for him the fact that Pastors in Nigeria have proven their genius on TV and Radio is a enough reason to seek new frontiers for sunday service recriutment; thus taking a step further. The pastor of ''Jesus for all ministry'' simply engaged in what is known in advertizing as 'Direct Marketing' all in a bid to win souls for himself or for God, who knows!
As facebook evolved, internet lingo came into the fray and trust Nigerians; we killed it.... we could confuse the whole world/continent with our supervene pidgin english either here in Nigeria or in cities like New-york, London or Jo'bourg but here on facebook the Naija-lingo or shorthand that draws it strenght from pidgin can run a full conversation. what can anyone who's not street savvy or Naija-internet-style savvy say about these....
LWKMD - Laff Wan Kill Me Die
DDDD - Dey Dia Dey Dull
U2M - You 2 Much
HWKMD - Hungry Wan Kill Me Die
UWTA - you wan try am???
WDDU - Wetin dey do u?
UWD - you wan die?
KDB - kini big deal
IDH - I dey house
WUT - Wetin you talk?
YDTTM - you dey talk to me?
IWGS - I wan go sleep
IWG - I wan go
UDSA - you don start again
NMA - no mind am
CGKL - chicken get k-leg
NDBL - nepa don bring light
UCC - you chop crase?
UNGKM - you no go kill me
UGKMO - you go kill me oo,
Narrowing the madness down to the unique and newly mordant Nigerian chick or let me say Okpeke! is'nt a simplistic venture. the aura behind their specialized internet lingo or swagger is something to hold-with. I was someday chatting with a 23 years old girl only for her to adress me as SWIRRY and this was in leu of 'sweety'. i took a slow pause to decipher what that meant as a lingo. Now tell me whats can ever be wrong with all other crazy ones like:
Yelz - for YES
2mao - for Tomorrow
Sharrap - for Shut Up
Mawnin - for Morning
etc...
Nigeria is one of the very few country whose president interacts on facebook, for some its an avenue to praise the president and show support, for some an opportunity to ask for a job, some simply post messages to insult him and many just want to be heard by venting their anger on how Nigeria has become a failed state. But amidst all this is the monster claim that the president brought facebook to nigeria... ahahahahahahah LWKMD! obviosly this statement drew another bruhaha on facebook itself and twitter and Nigerians once again prove that facebook was stumbled on and not a federal government allocated project like Suleja to Abuja road. But for the election, it was a tool Nigerians used to access how opposed they are to a candidate. The likes of IBB got severe facebook bashing; propaganda was posted and flying all around like a kite, from facebook alone IBB should have been well notified that Nigerians have gone light years past him and he got that message and quitly stepped down off the race. Buhari enjoyed almost the same fate.
Hmmmmn.... Nigerians can BRAG oh! imagine someone who just got a visa to London, right from the embassy he starts to update on facebook: he posts the color of the shirt the man who issued the visa is wearing, he posts the flight ticket number and airline name, he post the minute he arrives at Heathrow and even when he visits Stamford bridge in west London but he'll never post it the moment he gets deported.
Have we ever asked Nigerian girls on facebook why they always show us the side of their head when posing for a picture? i'll like to ask '' was there a National Nigerian Facebook Girls Convention'' where it was agreed that all facebook picture must be taken from the side? and if there was non then it becomes apparent that it might just be another Nigerian facebook insanity displayed by our sisters in insanity or rather decendants of Patience Jonathan.
as i close this debut edition of ''NAIJA FACEBOOK MATTAZ'' i implore you to remain the genuine Nigerian that you are, the Naija spirit should not die both home & abroad....
Watchout for the Next Edition (LOVE IS BLIND ON FACEBOOK)
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Nice one, would watch out for the next 1.
ReplyDeletekeep it coming